Rethink about all lessons we have been taught in life. Positivity helps us in the hardest part of life but it is not always true. Rethink how exactly continuous positive thinking affects us. Sometimes we can rethink our concept of happiness, I think we’ resold an idea that we should be believing in our self and setting our goals and thinking positively, but the reality is that thinking positively can have quite a negative effect.
Rethink The actuality of positivity or optimism.
Optimism as an idea does not serve us very well when a thing goes badly. Seeing bad situations in a positive light and looking for the good. That’s ok. That goes back to the Stoics. But, when we’re feeling like we’re failed, that’s the problem.
And the problem with optimism is that it just tells us if things don’t go right,
- That we’ve failed
- We have not believed in our self-enough
- We should blame our self because there is nowhere else to go
This is a wrong practice to blame yourself with a positive aspect while you are suffering in a bad situation in life.
You need a system that works for you when the thing is not going well, that is the real test as to whether something holds up or not.
There was a psychologist called Daniel kinsman, who came up with this idea of the experiencing self and the remembering self. Like two sort of selves at work within us during life.
The idea is that, for example, if you give the choice between going on a roller coaster and having a fun afternoon at a theme park versus looking after a sick relative. Which one is going to make you happier?
The chance is you’d think well you are going to the theme park. So you experiencing self are being catered to by the experience of your happiness and excitement.
But you’re remembering self, which is the other part of you, will look back on the experience looking after your sick relative actually as a more meaningful experience. Rethink the dimensions of happiness.
So the chances are you’ll take you more of a sense of happiness and satisfaction from doing that.
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Rethink how much we have a terrible understanding of positivity?
So we have a terrible understanding of what fulfills us. Rethink about the actuality of personality. And interesting thought experiment, which was given by a stoic, a modern stoic, called William Irvine is imagining that you woke up one day and everybody had disappeared from the world.
So there were still buildings and cars and everywhere, but there were no people.
Everyone had gone. It is just you. What changes that you’d acquire for yourself?
You would not bother having a great big house to go and live, you could live in any house, you could just go and walk in and live wherever you like. You’d probably find somewhere that was just comfortable and practical.
You obviously would not bother with fancy clothes. You would not bother with so many things. And then when you follow that though, it is amazing how much we acquire and want only impress other people.
Even if we do not feel we are that sort of person.
We want things that we do not have, which are probably not going to be very good for us anyway, shifting our desire, so we want the things that we already have. Stoicism was born in a time of strife.
There were lots of war and lots of reasons why you’d want to hang on to a feeling go tranquility. So what they said, which is such a phenomenally good advice, is there are a thing in your life that you are in control of and then there is a thing in your life you are not in control of.
What control your life?
The only thing you are in control of, are your thoughts and your actions. This is reality. But you have no control over what other people do and what they think of you. And what goes on in their lives and how well other people do their jobs or do the things you want whatever, everything else, you have no control over.
And you can decide everything on that side of the line is fine. People find themselves doing this a lot when something bothering and frustrating them. They just think hang on which side of the line is it on? Is it my thoughts and actions or is it something out there?
But it has to be real though: what if it was fine? And that has to drip in and kind of drip into the soul and makes sense. You have to feel it, it is no good just saying: oh it is fine and it will fine.
Concluding remarks on continuous positivity in life.
No matter how good command you have on emotions. Hence, life setbacks always put you on fire. Negativity is part of life. Somehow continuous positivity will fade actuality of scenes and never let you clear actual dimensions of happiness. It is okay to feel negative and bad.
Let all emotions fill the jar of life. One constant emotion starts diminishing the room of other emotions which itself is not a good thing. Rethink all dimensions of life from different perspectives.
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